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The Best Ever Book of Leeds United Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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A Liverpool fan, an Arsenal fan and a Manchester United fan were all in Saudi Arabia drinking a smuggled crate of booze. Good afternoon;" he said, "I'm Tony Collier's uncle. I've come to ask if he can have the afternoon off so I can take him to the match." It was also an off-night for Bamford, who wasn't his usual self in front of goal, with his frustration clear to see on the pitch. Read More Related Articles

Curiously enough, however, it was the TV All Stars, rather than the Showbiz XI, who proved the more politically engaged. In 1961, for example, when professional players, campaigning for the abolition of the maximum wage, were threatening to strike, the players' union planned some fundraising matches. While the Showbiz team declined to help on the grounds that they wanted to remain apolitical, the All-Stars happily obliged, winning a degree of gratitude within the sport that caused some resentment among their more cautious rivals. If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asked. These were the best tweets and jokes as Leeds lose 3-4 on aggregate to Derby in their Championship play-off semi-final: This, from the Seventies through to the Nineties, is what television management signally failed to do when it came to the sport of golf. The broadcasters, for some unknown reason, seemed content to indulge comedy's golfing fraternity as it did its best to make everyone else feel that they were fellow members of a virtual clubhouse. I was playing Football Manager on my PC when I was offered the [insert team here] job. I knew it was a poor squad with no future, so I declined the offer. I then put the telephone down and returned to Football Manager.

Sooty and Sweep and fish and chips

He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, “Sorry Father, I almost hit that Liverpool fan.” “That’s ok,” replied the priest. “I got him with the door.” The story goes that a roadie failed to set up the recording equipment properly and so the Leeds gig was the one that took on its iconic status. Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey return to the scene of Live at Leeds (Photo: YP) Hippo bones were found in the city centre To any young person pondering this strange phenomenon today ('What did you do during the golf bore war, Grandad?'), the assumption might be that all of this was merely a case of supply in response to demand, but that is not how things actually were. There was barely any demand outside of the comedy (and possibly the golfing) community; there was simply far too much unsolicited supply. They are understandably all a bit nervous but, being a brave lad and the club captain, Keane goes first. At the last second, the firemen whip the blanket away. Keane splats on the pavement, dead. The fact that, for what felt like a very long period of time, they did so was not their fault. It was the fault of television management.

Look" he says to the united fan, "this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whiskey to celebrate our friendship and survival" Seeing this, the Liverpool fan walked over and shouted "This is for the true Reds and everyone!" and pushed the Man United fan off the side of the mountain.There was nothing intrinsically wrong about this. One person's all-absorbing hobby is another person's painful headache, but, so long as one respects the other's right to be left alone to pursue their own passion, there is no reason for any resentment. The problem was that the golf-mad comedians could not keep their obsession to themselves. They seemed determined to share it with everyone else. The man claimed, “I was officiating this crucial match at Anfield between Liverpool and Manchester United. The score was 0-0 with one minute remaining in the second half when I awarded a penalty against Liverpool at the Kop end.” The Liverpool fan was the last one up (he had finished off the keg), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of England, your city has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

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