The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

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Journal daily and log in 3 daily wins to force your mind to focus on daily gains "successes" (vs gaps) Because your memories are generated in the present, from your current vantage point, it is simple to forget about your GAINS. The Gap and the Gain describes two ways of thinking that measure your progress in life. Gap-thinking is focusing your thoughts on the “gap” between where you are now and where you want to be. Gain-thinking is focusing on how far you’ve come, or the “gains” you’ve made. According to the authors, both styles of thinking have significant consequences for your well-being: Gap-thinking is detrimental to your happiness, self-esteem, and physical health, whereas Gain-thinking improves these aspects of life. Not from a box, and a great recommendation. It's good to have your own way of thinking put down into words - whatever is thrown at you, it's a learning experience, and take that, and move forward. But happiness is never there. By embracing the idea of the pursuit of happiness, you rob yourself of the happiness that you have right now.

The past is nothing more than the meaning you ascribe to it. Being in the gap leads you to avoid your past and take ownership over your life. You don’t see any usefulness in certain experiences. You simply wish that they hadn’t happened. Here’s something you might not know. Your mindset has the potential to affect your physical health and even your longevity. By saying happiness is something we’re pursuing, the direct implication is that we don’t have it now because we don’t pursue something we already have. Pursuing keeps happiness “always up ahead” and “around the corner” even if we’ve already achieved something great. This is being in the GAP. Obsession is regularly associated with addiction. To perform at your peak level, you have to completely detach yourself from what you are doing. Is this opportunity, person, expense, adventure, experience, relationship, commitment, etc. aligned with my core values?Implementing intentions increases your self-control even when you are not in a favorable environment. You can be the victim of decision fatigue when you’re sure what you are going to do. Train yourself to not stay in the gap for more than 5 minutes. What does “the gap and the gain” mean? What’s the difference between these two ways of measuring progress and success? When your reference point is internal, happiness and success are always right here and right now. Journaling Questions Shortform note: Hardy and Sullivan recommend avoiding Gap-thinking entirely to prevent stress from becoming toxic. Other experts suggest managing stress more proactively by channeling your anxiety into productive behaviors that work against your fears coming true. For example, you may be anxious about the decline of your health as you age. You can channel this anxiety into making healthier choices in the present, such as eating healthy foods and exercising.)

Being a member of GAIN allows you to use every dip as a springboard toward reaching a higher peak in the future. Being in the moment gives you the ability to learn from every situation and get better, not worse.Psychologists suggest that it’s best to find a middle ground between these two extremes by being as realistic as possible. Prepare yourself for unexpected, negative outcomes, but don’t assume they’re inevitable. Toxic Stress and Trauma When you’re feeling stressed and negative, on the other hand, you go into survival mode. This kills off any creative, lateral thinking. You also stop having fun at work – and your internal motivation dwindles. Getting out of the GAP and into the GAIN means you’ve made yourself your own reference point. The GAP means your life is determined by someone or something external. The GAIN means you’re living a self-determined life. An immediate impact the book has on me is the awareness that I have at times spend way too much time in the GAP, but that also I’m not alone in feeling this way because Dr. Hardy himself succumbs too. However, the key is we now have that awareness and can be mindful in working our way through and out of it.