Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide

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Cliff undertakes many of the courses needed to better understand the art of murder and how to effectively target those who deserve to be extinguished. As Cliff makes his way through the courses, he shares with the reader some of his insights and how his training is slowly helping him to become more sinister and a better killer. Cliff uses some of his time to reassess the foibles of his attempted killing of an immediate superior, as he tries to concoct how he would re-commit the murder. Murder Your Employer is quite funny (and punny) and clever, and definitely satirical at times. The narrator’s voice was unlike any other writing style I’ve read, and I loved it. Most importantly, remember the McMasters golden rule: "Do in others as you would have others do you in." There are some parts that were slow and dragged a bit, but overall this is a highly original tale that has widespread appeal. The ending is superb, so even if you get to some of the slower parts definitely power through and you'll be rewarded in the end.

Duclie had a similar treatment done to her but she's largely more fascinating. I really enjoyed her character and was intrigued by her story. But it did suffer from comparison with Cliff's POV. With dry humor and an eye for hidden clues, Rupert Holmes imagines a secret Hogwarts-like school that teaches the fine art of pulling off the perfect (and perfectly deserved) murder. An utterly creative and deliciously diabolical read.” — Alafair Burke, New York Times bestselling author of Find Me I found myself inspected by a charcoal-faced man in a slouch hat and gray suit. His cheap tie looked like an obligatory birthday gift from an unloving wife. He showed me a billfold designed solely for the purpose of displaying a badge bearing the seal of New York City. “Captain Dobson,” he said, saving me some reading. “This is Sergeant Stedge.”

Who hasn’t wondered for a split second what the world would be like if a person who is the object of your affliction ceased to exist? But then you’ve probably never heard of The McMasters Conservatory, dedicated to the consummate execution of the homicidal arts. To gain admission, a student must have an ethical reason for erasing someone who deeply deserves a fate no worse (nor better) than death. The campus of this “Poison Ivy League” college—its location unknown to even those who study there—is where you might find yourself the practice target of a classmate…and where one’s mandatory graduation thesis is getting away with the perfect murder of someone whose death will make the world a much better place to live. Dobson and Stedge looked at each other with infinite pity as I realized the words “He’s not dead?” could be used against me in a court of law. Despite the miraculously good news that I’d evaded the electric chair, the nearly-as-bad update was that I’d be going to prison for attempted murder while Fiedler was alive and free to be a menace to the world.

It all went a bit downhill when the book moved on to following three students through three murders. The murders were hugely overplanned, in a way that sounds clever at first glance but entirely depended on a whole lot of people unknowingly doing things exactly as hoped, and detailed so lovingly that the book slowed to an absolute crawl. And also, they were three entirely unrelated murders! I wanted to see them woven together, or for something to bring the various characters and plots together (ideally in a way that would give them a bit more actual character work), but it was just three chopped up accounts of three unconvincingly elaborate plans to kill people, and by the end I will admit to skimming. So I was sunk. If Dobson knew enough to show me those sunglasses, then he had me dead to rights. I wondered if they planned to arrest me here and now. I sure would have liked a last beer before going to prison. I doubted they had beer in the death house. Certainly not draft. Suddenly, life imprisonment and a job in the library sounded like a vacation in sunny Madrid. A new novel from the man who wrote Swing (2005), Where the Truth Lies (2003), and “Escape (The Piña Colada Song).” I handed Stedge his gun. “I was never going to shoot either of you,” I said, as if they might wish to understand me better. “There’s only one person in the world I want to kill, and I thought if I could get away from you, I might have a second chance.” I looked at their passive faces and mumbled, “You can’t understand.”

Three woman who join together to rent a large space along the beach in Los Angeles for their stores—a gift shop, a bakery, and a bookstore—become fast friends as they each experience the highs, and lows, of love. Although I don’t consider myself particularly vain (except perhaps for considering myself more often than I should), I was pleased to have conceived such an expert murder, especially since I’d never previously considered committing one. Sergeant Stedge answered the question for me. “Brandt’s has. People pinch something, step into a changing room to remove the price tags, and hide the goods on their person. So the store will post operatives posing as shoppers near the changing rooms, to watch for customers who exit a little larger than when they went in.” I turned to see Dobson with an identical .38 trained on me. Dobson explained, “The sergeant likes to make his empty gun a tempting prospect. Trying to steal an officer’s weapon is further evidence of guilt.”

The sequel to It Ends With Us (2016) shows the aftermath of domestic violence through the eyes of a single mother. Please understand that by nature I oppose all senseless killing… but in Fiedler’s case, murder makes perfect sense.Have to table this audiobook. Every time I turn it on I just want to turn it off. I think I’ll switch to the book at another time. Dobson’s features became dour again, obviously their default position. “And try to strike again, just as ineptly? The hell with that. You’re in desperate need of some schooling.”