My Nanna

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Surely when visits to grandparents reveal unwanted experiences as well as good ones the balanced parent will build on the good and either discuss or ignore the bad. Dear Son, there’s just one piece left of your fav dish, please eat it all, we already had some yesterday : you’ll love it, it’s delicious! And Jen will have some canned food while watching you enjoying your meal”… They aim to elicit sympathy and to remind everyone – kids and grandkids – that things need to be going their way, or else. What would toxic parents under the same headings reveal? That all parents should be cut off from their children because they do these things too? They will go as far as demanding time with your kid ONLY, trying to bypass you and take control of the situation. If that doesn’t work, they’ll enlist relatives to harass you on their behalf.

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You seem to be subscribing to the idea that, because of the genetic lottery, a person is entitled to certain treatment. I disagree with that entirely. If your parent ever told you one of these gems, chances are, they won’t be much different as a grandparent. Toxic grandparents may love their grandchildren. They may mean them no harm. But they can’t help who they are. If a parent is hopelessly negligent (eg drug addict) or abusive to the children then it is ABSOLUTELY the place of a grandparent to bring this to the attention of authorities and work towards gaining custody,If grandparents do wrong things talk about it, arrange visits to avoid the conflict but please poisonous author introduce some love and respect into the discussions.Remember these grandparents want to help, they are trying, they love their grandchildren who bring joy to their world and they want to help you, their child. Families have a great opportunity to learn from each other and GROW in maturity. Tossing a relationship to the curb ends that opportunity and so many others within the entire extended family..What ever happened to talking something over and firmly stating boundaries?” How about family counseling?A “transgression or two may be ok but after that Grandma is toxic, cut all ties” WHAT!!!! Wouldn’t some grandchildren be concerned that the parent may reject them just like they did Grandma?! Many grandparents find joy in buying gifts for the grandchild, cooking them delicious meals, treating them to an extra cookie, letting them stay up past bedtime…That’s why children tend to adore their grandparents. So, let’s be clear, any parent who displays narcissistic behavior, plays favorites, undermines parental authority, encourages grandchildren to lie to their parent(s) and more of the like IS TOXIC!! You grandparents getting on here claiming this is nonsense don’t have the slightest idea or you’re one of the aforementioned types!

Toxic Grandparent Checklist: 10 Signs That There Is a Problem Toxic Grandparent Checklist: 10 Signs That There Is a Problem

What exactly is your opinion of psychological harm? A grandparent longing to spend more time with their grandchild when they are missed and not only for the parent’s selfish reasons?Sarkis, S. M. (2018). Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People – and Break Free. Da Capo Press. To all the Grandparents saying how dreadful this article is… I do not believe that any sane parent would refuse the help , kindness, love, attention of a genuine loving grandparent.