Top Girl

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Her mother was a first generation immigrant so this might have been a kick back against what is seen as Western indulgence -apologies if I have read this incorrectly-and therefore she comes across as distant, even though she is home for most of Danielle’s childhood. By 15, she has been involved in gang violence -including seeing a girl set on fire-, been brutally sexually assaulted, beaten, and yet, somehow, passed all her GCSE’s. She now advocates for women in the criminal justice system and speaks with law enforcement agencies about the role of women in gangs. Betrayed by the police after a brutal gang rape, she finds protection under the wing of organised criminals and falls in love with the local ‘top boy’. As she says at one point -bearing in mind she was 15 at the time-she went from an exploited victim of prolonged sexual assault, to looked down upon child sex worker in the space of 24 hrs.

This book gripped me from the get go, partially because the story was so interesting, and also because the narrator was excellent. After being betrayed by the police following a brutal gang rape, she finds protection under the wing of organised criminals and falls in love with the local 'top boy'. Despite the dark side to this tale, there is also a lighter side, where Danielle spreads the message that no matter what mistakes are made, there is always a way out, and there can be sunshine after the rain.

It would have been so easy for her to carry on with the life she had: dealing drugs, and living the expensive lifestyle she craved. It’s not for the faint hearted, if you’re easily offended by swearing, sex or gang life then I strongly advise you not to read it, but if you’re streetwise and can handle the brutal way of da streets, then this will be right up your street. These people do exist, this is true, but there are those in shiny cars, with designer clothes, and all the accoutrements of a lifestyle which is designed to provoke envy, And when you are in that life, it is next to impossible to get out alive, let alone turn your life around to the extent that Danielle has, using the worst things which happened to her to educate others, educate us as parents, carers, teachers.

And I had to stop reading several times because it was so very brutal and there is a dignity in how Danielle describes her traumas, it is not something exploitative or graphic which makes what happened to her all the more powerful. Her step-father and mother live with her and her half brother in a flat, where she was not often hugged, told that she was loved, or felt valued. Thankfully, me and my other half are fiercely protective of our girls and have no issues standing up for what they deserve. Her mother was a first generation immigrant so this might have been a kick back against what is seen as Western indulgence -apologies if I have read this incorrectly-and therefore she comes across as distant, even though she is home for most of Danielle's childhood. The money and glamour of her hedonistic lifestyle are the envy of all of her friends, but the good times and the money only mask the grim realities of her life when she is arrested and her life hits a turning point where she starts to question everything that has ever happened in her life.

I struggled to sympathise with how she didn’t seem to really fight for her son; she could easily have afforded a solicitor (given her income from drug dealing!

No 13 yr old should see this’ ‘no 13yr old should go for that’… when talking about fights she had witnessed. She takes full responsibility for some of the things that she has done but when you read the unfathomable trauma that she has endured you cannot help but feel a deep level of empathy for her. She grew up in a city , but this lifestyle, these situations are transferable across the UK, and are becoming even more prevalent in rural areas.On reflecting back on it I do think that we don’t get a full account if what it’s like for those doing this, I think we get a more glamorised look at the country lines, still seems awful but I’ve read worse accounts of it recently. The strength that came oozing out of the pages and the clear signs of ptsd backed up by the intelligence of knowing her own self! I am usually fairly sceptical about bad girl type memoirs which can often feel like an opportunity to garner a bit of sympathy or pass the buck. Danielle grew up in London with first generation immigrant parents, attending a nearby grammar school.

She put him in danger, daily, and felt wronged when he was taken away and ultimately given to his father.They aren’t always the people you are warned about, the ones in cars who want you to see their puppies or offering you a ride home ‘because your mother sent me’. It is a shocking and graphic account of the descent of a grammar schoolgirl into the dark, seedy world of gangs, drugs and of how she ended up becoming a county lines drug dealer. I read Top Girl with fraught nerves and such investment in Danielle’s story that several events hit me like an emotional gut punch. But her bright future fades when, betrayed by the police after a brutal assault, she finds the protection she needs under the wing of organised criminals.